Why Death Note Characters Hate Fangirls
by Eriscene's Memoirs
Summary: Once upon a time crazy evil Death Note fangirls met the hottest guys in Death Note. What happens? IT'S PURE HELL! P.S. This is a collection of random parody stories!
1. Warning: Extreme Torture

**Why Death Note characters hates fangirls.**

P.S.-I don't think this is funny, I'm not good at jokes, but I just got fascinated when I began to think how crazy fangirls will react if they met the death note characters. Pure hell. I feel sorry for doing this to them. xP Anyway, I think I'll get flamed….

**~*~**

Ding-dong.

**Light**: Someone get that.

**L:** Fine. *stands up to open the door*

**Fangirls:** Hi, we were doing a survey on……. *looks up and drools*

**L**: Uh-oh *Tries to slam the door but fails*

**L:** AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!! O_O

**-Meanwhile-**

**Mello**: Hey, did you hear something?

**Matt**: *not looking from his nintendo ds* I don't know.

**Light**: Let's ignore it.

**Ryuk:** *suddenly appearing* Hey L's being…. Disturbed by fangirls.

**Everyone**: WHAT?!

**Near**: Let's go hide before they see us!

**-Everyone finds a place to hide into but Light failed to find one-**

**-heavy footsteps-**

**L**: Light please write their names in the death note!

**Random fan girl 1**: OMG! Light!

**RF 2**: Hey! Have you ever heard the expression "hit the lights?"

**Fangirls**: *shakes head*

**RF2**: Well, you will know what it means! *Takes baseball bat* How dare you kill our L…… AVENGE L!!!!!!!

**Fangirls**: CHARGE!!!!!!!

**RF3:** Wait! Don't!

**RF1**: Why not?!

**RF3:** I have a better idea to torture him. *Evil grin*

-** Light's carried away by fangirls, ready to be put to torture-**

**Fangirls**: AHA! Your gay!!!!

**Light**: AM NOT!!!!!!

**Random Fangirl 1**: Oh yeah? How do you explain manipulating girls and not caring about having a pretty model for a girlfriend?

**Light**: How does that make me *slap* OW!

**Fangirls**: Ever tried reading your last name backwards?!

**Light**: Yagami… I'm a…. YOU MOTHERFUC-

**Fangirls**: And you liked being handcuffed to L!

**Light:** Hey that was L's idea!!!

**Fangirls**: Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Light**: *wounded dignity* TT_TT I'm not gay…..

**-meanwhile-**

**Random Fangirl 5**: Hey everyone! I found Near and Matt and Mello!

**Fangirls**: YAY!!!!!

**Ryuk**: *thinks* Thank god they can't see me.

**Random Fan girl 6**: Look! It's Ryuk!

**Ryuk**: Holy shi-

**-Back to Light and L-**

**RF 1**: Hey guys! I have the best idea ever!

**Fangirls**: What?

**RF 1**: YAOI!

**Fangirls:** YAY!

**L and Light**: Oh GOD!

**-Fangirls shove L and Light together-**

**Fangirls**: Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Light**: I would NEVER, ev-

**RF 2**: Shut up gay!

**Light**: See if you can make me!

**Fangirls**: We'll tell Misa your cheating on her with Takada!

**-FLASHBACK-**

_Fangirls who thinks Misa is a bitch and hates her conveniently decided to attack Misa one day. They beat her head repeatedly with an iron bar and Misa's IQ increased by 99%. Misa began to doubt Light's 'faithfulness' to her. Most unfortunate for Light, she threatened to write his name in the death note if she catches him cheating on her._

**Light:** Ugh.

**L**: Light I'd rather die than kiss you.

**Light**: Your not the only one being tormented here.

**Fangirls**: Kiss Kiss Kiss-

**LighxL**: *kiss*

**Fangirls**: *GASP!*

**- Back to Near, Mello, Matt and Ryuk-**

**Random Fangirl**: *chains the four of them to the wall* Now you can't escape!

**-fangirls take a rest-**

**Matt**: Great. How do we get out?

**Mello**: Good thing they didn't have any ideas on what to do with us.

**Near**: *Twirls his hair*

**Random Fangirl**: Hi Near! Why do you always twirl your hair?

**Near**: ………. o_O

**Random Fangirl**: *thinks* I wonder how he will react if I cut those pretty white locks? Or better yet shave it? *Evil Grin*

**Random Fangirl**: Girls, I have an idea to amuse ourselves.

**-After two hours-**

Poor Near is lying in the ground, crying/quivering/having a seizure/heart attack/stroke/asthma because he can't play with his hair anymore. Evil crazy fangirls shaved it off.

**Mello**: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

**Matt**: If they make fun of you next you won't be laughing like that.

**Fangirls**: Hi Matt, Mello and Ryuk! Want to play an endurance test?

**Mello, Matt, and Ryuk**: No thank you.

**Fangirls:** Sorry, but we don't take no as an answer.

**-two days later-**

Matt, Mello and Ryuk suffered withdrawal because Ryuk can't get apples, Mello is deprived of chocolates and Matt wasn't able to play any games. Their withdrawal symptoms are too frightening to describe.

**~*~**

_Epilogue_

Just when Light, L, Near, Matt, Mello, and Ryuk thought they were going crazy, the evil crazy fangirls ran out of ideas to do anything to them and decided to torture Naruto, Neji, Gaara and Sasuke instead.

_The end_


	2. I'll do anything for Kami!

**Chapter 2: I'll do anything for Kami!**

_Mikami is a faithful slave- I meant right-hand man. We all know know that, but sometimes he just overdoes he's faithfulness……_

A kid is bullying his fellow classmate, and Mikami happens to witness it. Mikami interferes…

**Mikami: **Hey stop!

**Bully: ***Stares, then continues to punch his victim*

**Mikami: **I said stop, as Kami's right hand man!

**Bully: **What?

**Mikami: **D: You want to be deleted? Huh? Why is this world so rotten?!

**Bully: **What are you….

**Mikami: **You want me to delete you?! I'll sacrifice you to god!!!!!! SACRIFICE!!!!!

**Bully and the victim kid: ***Whispers* is this guy a member of a satanic cult?!

**Mikami: ***Takes out a pen and waves it around* You will be deleted! For hurting that child! And you too *Points pen at the kid being bullied*! MWAHAHAHA!

**Victim kid: **Why?! What did I do?! :O

**Bully: **Please sir I don't want to be deleted I love life!!!!

**~*~**

Light will not be attacked by crazy rabid fangirls today. He's happy.

Of course he is, who wouldn't be happy about that? He's got enough of L's fangirls making revenge plans or his own fangirls stalking/sexually assulting him.

Too bad this won't last long. If fangirls are bad enough, there's always something worse.

Light's biggest fanboy.

**Mikami: **KAMI-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!! ~ 3

**Light: **o_e um…. I'm busy right now…..

**Mikami: **Nonsense, my Lord. I will massage your back, make you food……

**Light: **This isn't a god time….

*BAM!*

**Misa: **I'm home!Light! ~ 3 *Sees Mikami and Light together….*

**Misa: **:O What's going on?!

(Might I remind you after THAT incident, Misa's IQ increased from 63 to 154)

**Light: ***Nervous* Um, nothing sweety! He just needs to report something to me!

**Misa: **%$*&!!!!!! I'm not stupid! I can see everything now!

**Light: **It's not like that!!!!

**Misa: **YOU DARE TO PLAY WITH A WOMAN'S FEELINGS?! *takes out death note* DIVINE PUNISHMENT!!!!!

*Light pleads to her*

**Mikami: **Hurting….God…. D: I won't allow this! I'll delete you! *Jumps at Misa and attacks her*

**Misa: **Delete me?! Not before Misa breaks your balls! And yours too, Light!!!! :O

*FIGHTING*

**Light: ***Taking cover at the corner* O_O What am I gonna do?! TT_TT

*Fight over. Mikami is bleeding to death at the corner*

**Misa: **^_^ Misa won!!!!

**Light: **o_e *THINKS* I don't wanna die I don't wanna die I don't wanna die I don't wanna die …..

**Misa: ***Evil ROFLMAO*

**~*~**

**Ryuk: ***Finds Mikami* Huh? You okay?

**Mikami: **Misa….

**Ryuk: **Well that figures. She kills anyone who sticks to Light. That's why your "god" is avoiding you.

**Mikami: **But…. He's my boyfriend! We love each other!!!!

**Ryuk: **o_e I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that….. *Flies Away*

**Ryuk: ***Mumbles* Well…. I've been questioning he's gender anyway…. (Talking about Mikami)* Oh Look! An Apple!

*Flies down and picks up apple*

Suddenly, something moved and Ryuk is trapped at a cage. Two people appear. One is a woman with red hair, the other a man with blue hair. They are wearing matching outfits with the letter "R" printed in it. There's also a cat in with them, too.

**Meowth: **At last! We caught the rare pokemon!

**Ryuk: ***THINKS* **Holy shit! Did that cat just talked?! I must be hallucinating… I must have eaten too much apples….**

**Jessie: **Prepare for trouble!

**James: **Make it double!

**Jessie: **To protect the world from devastation!

**James: **To unite our people within our nation!

**Jessie: **To denounce the evil of truth and love!

**James: **To extend our reach to the stars above!

**Jessie: **Jessie!

**James: **and James!

**Jessie:** Team rocket, blast off at the speed of light!

**James: **Surrender now, or prepare to fight

**MEOWTH: **Meowth! That's right!

**~*~**

**In the next chapter:**

Ryuk is a pokemon?! O_e.

Ash will save him! But Yugi of Yu-Gi-Oh! Will mistake him as some kind of card monster, and Daniel Kuso mistakes him for a Bakugan!

The crazy Pokemon vs Yu-Gi-Oh! Vs Bakugan battle!

**In the next next chapter:**

There is a boy attacked by a ghost. He seeks the help of a detective. Of course, everyone thinks he's crazy, but not L. He decides to solve the case!

But what does this got to do with a vampire?!

And what will happen to the world when Lelouch and Light decides to be allies?!


End file.
